Ah, first-time sex. We wish we could say it’s always going to be amazing, but sometimes it’s more dire than on fire. So you know what you want under the sheets, right? But what on earth is he wishing you’d pull out of your sex artillery? You might be surprised! Our experts reveal what he really wants between the sheets…
Give oral sex
Want to know the reason why he wants oral sex to be a part of the first-time package? “The more sexual bases you cover the first time you get together, the less emphasis and pressure there will be to have mind-blowing sex,” says sexologist Vanessa Thompson. Sure, receiving oral sex is all kinds of awesome but it’s important to be willing to reciprocate too. Why? “It's not only one of his favourite things, it shows you're as interested in giving as you are receiving pleasure,” says the Daily Mail’s sexpert Tracey Cox.
Be active
Do you leave it up to him to decide what sex positions you get busy in? We’re here to tell you that guys actually love it when you give a bit more input. “If you’re active in the bedroom you’ve got a better chance of getting what you want and being satisfied – that should be your number one priority,” says Vanessa. And if you’re feeling good? You can guarantee he will too. So don’t shy away from taking control during the horizontal dance.
Don’t stress about your body
Newsflash: if you’ve got to the point where a guy wants to see you naked, he’s already VERY happy with you and your body. Would we lie to you, ladies? When you’re hesitant about stripping off or getting into certain positions, it’s a major turn off for him. He wouldn’t be able to process why such a gorgeous girl is suddenly so insecure.
“Being self-conscious in the bedroom means that you won’t enjoy sex as much and if you’re not enjoying it then he’s going to pick that up and won’t enjoy it either. If you’re constantly moving to cover certain parts of your body you’re not happy with, it’ll make him self-conscious too,” says Vanessa. Know that that he wants to be with you, be confident and go forth and have wild, carefree sex!
Don’t stress about his performance
First-time sex has the potentially to be seriously erotic. But expecting that he’s going to have the biggest manhood you’ve ever seen, or that you’re going to be having multiple orgasms all night is going to set you (and him) up for failure.
“First-time sex is highly charged with expectations. Both of you are nervous and eager for it to go well but a female's nerves are more easily hidden. (Seriously, who'd want a penis when it's such an obvious barometer of anxiety?) How you react to first time sex predicts how good sex will be for the two of you in the future,” says sexpert Susie Tuckwell. “Approach it light-heartedly, don't make it a big deal and you're set for open, honest, communicative sex.”
Overreact or make him feel bad about his performance and he’s not going to be so keen to hop into bed with you next time. Remember that getting to know each other’s bodies won’t automatically kick in on the first time you have sex. We guess you’ll just have to keep practising, right?
Let him know you’re enjoying it
Have an out-of-control orgasm and your guy is definitely going to get the message that what he was doing worked. Other than that? If you don’t speak up, he’s not going to know the things that you’re into, and those things that you’re not so keen on. “If you don’t let him know what you like he’ll stress because he’s got nothing to gauge your experience on. Communication during sex is so important so if you do it from the first time you have sex onwards, you’re setting a great precedence for the next time you have sex,” says Vanessa.
Another word of advice? Don’t fake it. It’ll take away from the moment you do orgasm for real and will guarantee that he keeps doing whatever it was that didn’t get you to O.
Save potential post-sex emotional fallout for your friends
So maybe the sex wasn’t amazing and you couldn’t get your clothes on quickly enough afterwards, or maybe, unlike you, he doesn’t seem that keen for a “round two”. Trust us, leave any emotional baggage for a post-sex analysis with your friends. “The more relaxed you are about the whole thing, the more smitten he'll be. Be affectionate and shoot a few meaningful looks so he knows it meant something (if indeed it did), but resist hanging onto his legs as he makes for the front door,” says Tracey.
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